[clop clop clop]
Soldier #1> Halt! Who goes there?
Arthur> It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
Soldier #1> Pull the other one!
Arthur> I am, ...and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Soldier #1> What? Ridden on a horse?
Arthur> Yes!
Soldier #1> You're using coconuts!
Arthur> What?
Soldier #1> You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
Arthur> So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through--
Soldier #1> Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur> We found them.
Soldier #1> Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Arthur> What do you mean?
Soldier #1> Well, this is a temperate zone.
Arthur> The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Soldier #1> Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Arthur> Not at all. They could be carried.
Soldier #1> What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Arthur> It could grip it by the husk!
Soldier #1> It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
Arthur> Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
Soldier #1> Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
Arthur> Please!
Soldier #1> Am I right?
Arthur> I'm not interested!
Soldier #2> It could be carried by an African swallow!
Soldier #1> Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
Soldier #2> Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
Arthur> Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
Soldier #1> But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
Soldier #2> Oh, yeah...
Soldier #1> So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...
[clop clop clop]
Soldier #2> Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
Soldier #1> No, they'd have to have it on a line.
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